Back in Philly

 OK, so I returned. My adventures in looking at other places still made me want to be "home" But in 2020, it is a weird place to be. The whole year is filled with a strange, distorted sense of how to be. This time, returning to Philadelphia is almost like a TV trope where I might have traveled to a parallel world that isn't quite the same as the one I am from. 

I was back just a little over a month when one of my former students from FACTS was shot in the head and killed in a driveby. This is the 2nd death by gun violence of someone related to the FACTS family. (Another was a son of my former Dean). Both young black men with incredible mothers who would do anything to get them away from situations that structural racism set up to oppress black people. I couldn't ever explain this in a way that captures the pain to people in the school I just left...

Ming and I are thinking of getting a 2nd home since there are now 6 of us in this one and sometimes when the other kids come it just gets crazy. So we started looking in the mountains. But I always look with an eye to my black and brown "sons from another mother" and where they can be safe. Us too as Asian American, but them much more so. I wanted to find something tucked away, surrounded by trees. But outside of Philadelphia and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania is a pretty scary white state. I would like nothing better than to be on a farm raising some chickens and tending a garden. And it kind of sucks that doing that makes me feel unsafe. 

PJ wants to go somewhere he can hunt (I don't understand that obsession) and is it strange to find comfort in a gun being around if I moved to that imaginary home in the woods? What 2020 has driven me to. I will meditate with compassion but what do I do with my fear?

 Top 10 Reasons for Leaving Philadelphia: #6: Learning from afar

I am not going to lie - I miss Philadelphia. Most of the most important events in my life are connected to that place. After now entering my 7th year away from Philadelphia, I still call it home. When I travel to Philadelphia, I say I'm "going home."

I needed to leave Philadelphia to appreciate what the city means to me. I needed to leave Philadelphia because in terms of my career - teaching and learning - it was just too painful to stay. I often say I went from doing great things in my classroom to trying to mitigate damage to children and families to being complicit. I felt the system was so broken it would be really difficult to stay.

I also felt that I needed to learn and grow. I always believed that the struggles around school reform were just small visions being repackaged. When I read an article by Charles Payne entitled "So much reform, so little change" it encapsulated my feelings about what I saw. And I realized that we actually do know what makes great schools. They exist in private, elite and expensive spaces. We just don't want to pay for children to have access to what a great education looks like.

3 years in an international school and 3 years in an independent school have taught me that resources matter. Everything from a well endowed library to maker spaces to updated technology to small class sizes to the presence of robust specialists (art, music, world language, dance, drama to name a few), to nurses every day, counselors, learning specialists, after school enrichment programs, sports - I could go on and on. All the things I see available these past 6 years that were stripped away from public schools.

Being immersed in well resourced schools made it abundantly clear that providing children with a great education begins in being clear about what a great education means and ensuring that every child has an opportunity for the kinds of experiences we know are best for children. I have seen first hand what money can buy in education. And I have seen first hand what willful neglect for the children we are charged to protect and to serve looks like. It's been eye opening.

My Top 10 Reasons for Leaving Philadelphia: #8 – Loss of the common

Common sense

Common ground

Common wealth

What happens in education when you lose the common?

Common ground: Where the public has had traditional rights. Years ago, it referred to land. To a common space – probably pastures – which was open for everyone to use. It was born out of a recognition that there is a need for public rights. For a community to exist, an investment in things for the public good needs to be made. It was a place without contention – it was understood to be in the best interest of everyone in society to have this public investment. The common ground was so sacred that it was not open to contention and generally understood as the baseline for the common good. Where is the common ground in our city any more?

Common sense: Knowledge and experience which most people already have, or which the person using the term believes that they do or should have. I was wondering when the common sense that a democracy needs strong public services – especially public education – in order to function got lost? Now what I used to think was common sense is considered radical. When there is no common sense – what sense is left? Maybe the sense of selfishness? The sense of ignorance? Uncommon sense? Anti-common sense? I think maybe that’s the term that, well, makes the most sense. You can’t even call it nonsense because I think there is intentionality – it is someone’s sense to privatize the public and to disinvest in the common.

Common wealth: emphasizes a "government based on the common consent of the people". The word commonwealth in this context refers to the common "wealth", or welfare, of the public. I remember having an epiphany when someone once explained the etymology of the word "commonwealth". She told me it meant literally common wealth - the wealth set aside for the common good.

It is kind of sickening to think that this is the word behind the "Commonwealth of Pennsylvania" where a heartless and morally bankrupt governor has overseen the complete, planned desolation of the largest school district in the state. The common good no longer includes public education. It's just one in a long list of losses to the common that have evolved over the past few decades.

Probably more disturbing is the lack of outcry. The lack of outrage at the destruction of something so basic to democracy. The fabricated culture of austerity that has justified an every shrinking amount of accountability for the haves to contribute in real and fair ways to the common good from which they benefited has led to the growth of an entitlement culture and a cynical denial of the social contract on which we have survived as a species.

Well, that was a kind of long sentence, but you get the idea. I wonder if the common is being honored in other areas of the world. I hope to experience some of it during my time abroad...I need that fix to witness that  sense of mutual responsibility that still exists in communities globally....

My Top 10 Reasons for Leaving Philadelphia: #7: Because I Can

So it has been 6 years since I left and I never finished the top Ten list. Life and ADHD. What can you do?

But I did have a list of reasons I had started to formulate and so I decided that writing for myself - something I have not done in a long time - needed to become "a thing" for me again. It has taken me a lifetime to finally come to the conclusion that I am not very good for anyone else if I am not attuned to myself. So maybe it is just the "New Year" factor. Truth be told, I am really bad at maintaining healthy habits. I can easily devolve into the rabbit hole of links once the cursed phone is in my hand. I can binge watch television shows that serve as a non-alcoholic brain killer. But self care? Real self care? Naah.....

Yes, I decided to come back (we'll see for how long) and how fitting that in my list of 10 Reasons this one was #7. (And yes, I am counting backward, so it took me 6 years to go from #10 to #7. See what I mean?

But yes, I can. I can pick up my life and leave. There are plenty of reasons why I shouldn't have done that - including the children who I left behind in Philadelphia - not just my students, but my actual children who are in my family. I mean, isn't the normal pattern that the kids grow up and leave home? But at least for now, my home in Philadelphia is home to my two sons, their two girlfriends and their two dogs and I have moved from Philadelphia to India and now to Santa Monica. Philadelphia is still home in my heart. And yes, leaving meant turning my back on the city that was home to me for more than 50 years.

I know that privilege is about having a choice. I left because I could. I had the privilege to leave. I had the wherewithal to find meaningful work, the education that allowed me to make informed decisions, the knowledge that I had plenty to fall back on if my ventures didn't work out. I have a supportive partner who makes my work possible by being my support. I have choice, and so I chose to leave.

Do I regret leaving? No - I wouldn't call it regret. I do have remorse. And guilt. Lots of guilt. Something like survivor guilt. I still read the Philadelphia news online and listen to the Philadelphia Public Radio news. Even the 1060 AM KYW 24 hour news station is on my playlist. And I still cheer for my Philly teams. But the city I love was breaking my heart and instead of digging in and keeping up the fight, I flamed out and picked up and left.

I am experiencing so many new things these days. Three years in India and now going in to my 3rd year in Santa Monica (yes, I am well aware that they are polar opposite experiences - another blog post perhaps). One day, I know I will go back to Philadelphia and hopefully still will be able to do something that might contribute to the greater good. For now, I feel like a survivor - a guilt laden survivor who is embarrassed at times by life choices. In the end, I do think I left for my own sanity and spirit. But not everyone who needs to separate has the privilege that could allow that to happen. I know my privilege allowed me to leave. And now, finally, after writing this, I feel like I can be at peace with the decision, knowing it was what I had to do at that time of my life. I just hope my passion and principle will help me to return some day...

Life in the American Embassy School

Working in an international school is new stuff. Most mindboggling is the sheer amount of resources available. Pretty much anything you need or want is available. No fighting for paper. No asking parents for donations of tissue boxes.

When you need anything, you just walk up to a little window and tell them what you need: Pens - check. Post-it Notes (4 different sizes) - check, two pocket folders - check, pencil sharpener (desk mounted or handheld) - check.

OK, so that was fun. Let's go for the gold: Hand sanitizer - check. Mosquito repellant (plug-ins that you can also use in your home AND spray on) - check, poster paper - check.

But it isn't the material resources that are most impressive, though the library is nothing to sneeze at. From the library blog of our elementary school librarian: "The AES Elementary School Library houses over 35,000 titles available to AES students, families and staff.  The library offers an extensive collection of fiction, non-fiction, reference books, audio books, Playaways and periodicals.  Students, families and staff can also access databases and on-line resources that are appropriate for elementary age students..."

OK, so like I said. It isn't the material resources. It's the professionalism. The opportunity for teachers to engage in professional development. To have built-in collegial planning time. To be encouraged to form study groups and pursue inquiry into things that interest them. To also have on hand the support of an amazing array of student support services. ESL teachers. Special education teachers. A full time school psychologist. A full time speech pathologist. A fully staffed health center. Areas for play and recreation. Art, music, cultural studies. Extra curricular activities.

I think the thing that took me most by surprise - even with all these things available, the work of education is still grueling - teachers spend so much time beyond the classroom day studying, preparing, reflecting, growing. It's by far the most professional growth I've been exposed to in my teaching career...

My Top 10 Reasons for Leaving Philadelphia: #9 - We Don't Really Want to Reform Education

I often wonder why everyone thinks it's really rocket science to figure out what great education should look like for low income urban children in the United States. Do people really think it would look different than the best quality education afforded to rich folks? When I look at the best resourced schools - like the one I'm actually heading to - here's what I see:

a) Teachers with a minimum of 5 years of experience who are treated like professionals, provided tremendous amounts of professional development and time to work with colleagues doing teacher inquiry with regularity.
b) A curriculum rich with arts, music, dance, critical literacy, inquiry based learning. A curriculum constructed by teachers who work collaboratively, study recent research, and consider what's best for their particular students.
c) A class size of no more than 20 students.
d) A modern facility - clean, roomy, full of light. Additional space including a large gym, a swimming pool, a wonderful green field, a library with up to date books, periodicals, ebooks, journals and librarians.
e) A full complement of physical and behavioral health support professionals including several full time nurse practitioners, full time school counselors and psychologists - all with the same support for ongoing professional development and growth.
f) Healthy, organic, affordable food options for breakfast, lunch and snacks.
g) Support staff including secretaries, technology folks, teaching assistants, etc.

Well, you get the idea. Who wouldn't want this for their children? It would seem that in one of the richest countries in the world, this shouldn't be too hard to expect for our children. OK, I will give back the swimming pool - you don't really need one, as long as children have access to one in their community recreation centers...What - we don't have functional rec centers either?

So what do we get instead of the list above? We get a constant mantra of "we have to stop throwing money at urban education." We also get "The problem is the teachers. The problem is the curriculum. The problem is not taking enough tests." And so on. All the solutions being proposed by policy wonks who wouldn't put their own children in the urban schools they claim to be saving. People who believe that we can start a program where we take some really bright, well educated, priviliged students and throw them in to classrooms for 2 years and they will provide the education our chidlren need. Shoot, if that's the answer, why aren't all the schools with tons of money just snatching up those young kids right away? I mean, they must be master teachers because we believe they will save the neediest of our chidlren.

Ok, so I'm just tired. And I'm angry. I don't like always feeling angry. I'm sick and tired of watching "education policy people" claim all manner of education reform agendas - none of which address the fact that a good education costs money. And for the children in our urban areas, it means investment in more than just schools. It's investment in health care, in employment, in community centers, in the arts. Because it really does take a village to raise a child. And if we cared about a functioning democracy, and if we gave a damn about "other people's children" we would make that investment as a nation.

But it's a whole lot cheaper to just blame teachers and say that money doesn't matter. So shoot, I'll go somewhere where money really doesn't matter because the school I'm heading for has resources I never even dreamed were possible in the past 31 years of my teaching career. Maybe I should tell my new school that they could save a whole lot of money if they just got rid of their veteran teachers, stuff 33 kids in each class, got rid of all that health and technology support because it really doesn't matter, and tested the kids all day. Oh yeah, and ditched that dang swimming pool for crying out loud....

How Buildings Reflect Who We Are

I used to work in the old School District headquarters at 21st and the Parkway. As I wind down my final days working in the central administration, I cast my mind back fondly to that building. The architect, Irwin Catharine, was the architect for many of the schools built in Philadelphia during the 1920's. A time that the New Deal invested in public works.

In the building in at 21st Street, the detail of the architecture was astounding. Marble and Art Deco tile work were scattered throughout the building. This was echoed in buildings throughout Philadelphia that Irwin Catharine designed. It's why so many Philadelphia schools look so much alike. A quick look on Wikpedia shows an incredible  list of schools he designed (below). And what ties them all together is workmanship, craftsmanship and the sheer volume of investment these buildings represent.

So how fitting that when public education for low income students was abandoned - when students of color began to make up the population in the urban centers  that populated the public schools - the construction of new schools at this incredible pace of investment was abandoned. And then in 2005, when the beautiful Irwin Catharine designed 21st Street headquarters was sold to the highest bidder, privatized and turned into high end apartments rather than space for a public service, we should have been able to see this as a symbol of all the tragedy to come.After all, 21st Street headquarters had fallen in to disrepair. Lack of funds left that monument to public education in poor shape. So badly was the building limping along that a member of the school board decided to personally finance the cleaning of the beautiful brass doors so that they could once again shine...

Now 21st Street is cleaned, renovated and commands pretty hefty rental prices. The brass on those doors shines brightly. And the current School District headquarters are relegated to a sterile former factory building, retro-fitted with cubicles and humming with the corporate efficiency that has taken over the public space. The warmth and artistry of 21st Street have been replaced with cold efficiency. Those other Catharine buildings listed on the National Registry of Historic Places are slowly but surely being sold off to the highest bidder, closed and shuttered, turned into condos, or, ironically, charter schools.

Should we have new buildings for our students? Undoubtedly. But when I scan the list below, I shake my head at the loss of a time when the public good meant governmental investment at a level that we haven't seen at least in my lifetime. .As the schools close over the next year - and beyond - we should be reminded and mourn the loss of the investment in the public good and remember it was not always like this...

• James Alcorn School, (1931), 1500 S. 32nd St., NRHP-listed^[2]
• Ethan Allen School, 3001 Robbins Ave., NRHP-listed
• Charles Y. Audenried Junior High School, 1601 S. 33rd St., NRHP-listed
• Bartlett School, 1100 Catharine St., NRHP-listed
• Clara Barton School, 300 E. Wyoming Ave., NRHP-listed
• John Bartram High School, 67th and Elmwood Sts., NRHP-listed
• Dimner Beeber Junior High School, 5901 Malvern Ave., NRHP-listed
• Belmont School, 4030-4060 Brown St., NRHP-listed
• Rudolph Blankenburg School, 4600 Girard Ave., NRHP-listed
• Board of Education Building, 21st St. and Benjamin Franklin Pkwy., NRHP-listed
• Edward Bok Vocational School, 1909 S. Ninth St., NRHP-listed
• Daniel Boone School, Hancock and Wildey Sts., NRHP-listed
• F. Amadee Bregy School, 1700 Bigler St., NRHP-listed
• Joseph H. Brown School, 8118-8120 Frankford Ave., NRHP-listed
• Laura H. Carnell School, 6101 Summerdale Ave., NRHP-listed
• Lewis C. Cassidy School, 6523-6543 Lansdowne Ave., NRHP-listed
• Joseph W. Catharine School, 6600 Chester Ave., NRHP-listed
• Central High School, Olney and Ogontz Aves., Logan neighborhood of Philadelphia, NRHP-listed
• Russell H. Conwell School, 1829-1951 E. Clearfield St., NRHP-listed
• Jay Cooke Junior High School, 4735 Old York Rd., NRHP-listed
• Thomas Creighton School, 5401 Tabor Rd., NRHP-listed
• Kennedy Crossan School, 7341 Palmetto St., NRHP-listed
• Lydia Darrah School, 708-732 N. 17th St., NRHP-listed
• Hamilton Disston School, 6801 Cottage St., NRHP-listed
• Murrell Dobbins Vocational School, 2100 Lehigh Ave., NRHP-listed
• James Dobson School, 4665 Umbria St., NRHP-listed
• Paul Lawrence Dunbar School, 12th above Columbia Ave., NRHP-listed
• Henry R. Edmunds School, 1101-1197 Haworth St., NRHP-listed
• James Elverson, Jr. School, 1300 Susquehanna Ave., NRHP-listed
• Eleanor Cope Emlen School of Practice, 6501 Chew St., NRHP-listed
• Federal Street School, 1130-1148 Federal St., NRHP-listed
• D. Newlin Fell School, 900 Oregon Ave., NRHP-listed
• Joseph C. Ferguson School, 2000-2046 7th St., NRHP-listed
• Thomas K. Finletter School, 6101 N. Front St., NRHP-listed
• Thomas Fitzsimons Junior High School, 2601 W. Cumberland St., NRHP-listed
• Edwin Forrest School, 4300 Bleigh St., NRHP-listed
• Robert Fulton School, 60-68 E. Haines St., NRHP-listed
• Elizabeth Duane Gillespie Junior High School, 3901-3961 N. 18th St., NRHP-listed
• Simon Gratz High School, 3901-3961 N. 18th St., NRHP-listed
• Warren G. Harding Junior High School, 2000 Wakeling St., NRHP-listed
• William H. Harrison School, 1012-1020 W. Thompson St., NRHP-listed
• Francis Hopkinson School, 1301-1331 E. Luzerne Ave., NRHP-listed
• Henry H. Houston School, 135 W. Allen's Ln., NRHP-listed
• Thomas Jefferson School, 1101-1125 N. 4th St., NRHP-listed
• John Story Jenks School, 8301-8317 Germantown Ave., NRHP-listed
• John Paul Jones Junior High School, 2922 Memphis St., NRHP-listed
• Eliza Butler Kirkbride School, 626 Dickinson St., NRHP-listed
• Logan Demonstration School, 5000 N. 17th St., NRHP-listed
• James R. Ludlow School, 1323-1345 N. 6th St., NRHP-listed
• William Mann School, 1835-1869 N. 54th St., NRHP-listed
• Martin Orthopedic School, 800 N. 22nd St., NRHP-listed
• Delaplaine McDaniel School, 2100 Moore St., NRHP-listed
• George Meade School, 1801 Oxford St., NRHP-listed
• William M. Meredith School, 5th and Fitzwater Sts., NRHP-listed
• Thomas Mifflin School, 3500 Midvale Ave., NRHP-listed
• Andrew J. Morrison School, 300 Duncannon St., NRHP-listed
• George W. Nebinger School, 601-627 Carpenter St., NRHP-listed
• Jeremiah Nichols School, 1235 S. 16th St., NRHP-listed
• Olney High School, Duncannon and Front Sts., NRHP-listed
• Overbrook High School, 59th and Lancaster Ave., NRHP-listed
• John M. Paterson School, 7001 Buist Ave., NRHP-listed
• William S. Pierce School, 2400 Christian St., NRHP-listed
• Penn Treaty Junior High School, 600 E. Thompson St., NRHP-listed
• Joseph Pennell School, 1800-1856 Nedro St., NRHP-listed
• Samuel W. Pennypacker School, 1800-1850 E. Washington Ln., NRHP-listed
• Philadelphia High School for Girls (now Julia R. Masterman School), 17th and Spring Garden Sts., NRHP-listed
• Gen. John F. Reynolds School, 2300 Jefferson St., NRHP-listed
• Richmond School, 2942 Belgrade St., NRHP-listed
• Theodore Roosevelt Junior High School, 430 E. Washington Ln., NRHP-listed
• William Rowen School, 6801 N. 19th St., NRHP-listed
• Anna Howard Shaw Junior High School, 5401 Warrington St., NRHP-listed
• William Shoemaker Junior High School, 1464-1488 N. 53rd St., NRHP-listed
• Franklin Smedley School, 5199 Mulberry St., NRHP-listed
• Walter George Smith School, 1300 S. 19th St., NRHP-listed
• Spring Garden School No. 1, 12th and Ogden Sts., NRHP-listed
• Spring Garden School No. 2, Melon St. S of 12th St., NRHP-listed
• Stanton, Edwin M., School, 1616-1644 Christian St., NRHP-listed
• Thaddeus Stevens School of Observation, 1301 Spring St., NRHP-listed
• James J. Sullivan School, 5300 Ditman St., NRHP-listed
• Mayer Sulzberger Junior High School, 701-741 N. 48th St., NRHP-listed
• George C. Thomas Junior High School, 2746 S. 9th St., NRHP-listed
• William J. Tilden Junior High School, 66th St. and Elmwood Ave., NRHP-listed
• Edwin H. Vare Junior High School, 2102 S. 24th St., NRHP-listed
• Roberts Vaux Junior High School, 230-2344 W. Master St., NRHP-listed
• Gen. Louis Wagner Junior High School, 17th and Chelton Sts., NRHP-listed
• George Washington School, 5th and Federal Sts., NRHP-listed
• Woodrow Wilson Junior High School, Cottman Ave. and Loretta St., NRHP-listed
• Mary Channing Wister School, 843-855 N. 8th St., NRHP-listed
• George Wolf School, 8100 Lyons Ave., NRHP-listed